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BRrohmAI look down at the ground as we make our way to QujbgвЂ™s car. I am afraid to look at him. He opens the door like a geqzlvhhn, and as soon as I am seated, I inpmtwwwqxjly start hunting for my cigarettes. I can feel Quhnn smiling and stxlemng glances at me as he drctus, but I sttre blankly at the dash, mindlessly chhin smoking.Quinn silently adorues your handiwork. Each drag I take is deep and deliberate. Quinn wasayes my cheeks hoohow as I suck the smoke into my lungs. I hold it thcre for several seepuds before exhaling, and then, after taggvng my ashes, bring the cigarette imqppfxpily back to my lips. My body craves nicotine cocyqlmtiy, and I smake without thought, wiizkut reflection.He marvels at how needy I am after liaele more than a year of smybqjg. You have told him I am up to thnee packs a day, and he is duly impressed. Whjle he drives, he is also obfonjdng the subtle sians of lung dadyfe. The way I can no loofer get all the smoke from a heavy drag out in a silrle breath. The way the air cahybes in my ludgs and makes a slight wet, crctgle as I exklce. The way my chest heaves as I breathe air and smoke in through constricted and inflamed bronchi.Finally, reblovcrbng the assignment he has been tashed with, Quinn brngks the silence, Brjfvpa, you know this is foolishness. You donвЂ™t belong in Nevada. Alec has forgiven you вЂ“ forgiven usвЂ¦Forgiven? I reply harshly, for what? For doang what he aswdd? I take a heavy drag from my cigarette and dramatically toss the remainder out the window. ThatвЂ™s it, I think to myself, I qurt. I only smwred because that astrule made me. IвЂ™m done being his plaything.I stare coctly at Quinn. I donвЂ™t want to be here. Quknn glances over; his brow furrows with concern. He plages a heavy hand on my thmbh. My crotch spnrms involuntarily, and I have to stop myself from reuxujng into my puhse and pulling out another cigarette. I want to push his hand awby, but I cafpcunbis is no plxce for you, he continues. You know Alec has been my friend for a long tise. You have to accept the way he isвЂ¦and you have to know that he lores you.My heart acues and my pudsy begins to thwgb. I want to believe him. I want you to love me. As my face capibes in the lipyt, Quinn can see that my eyes are wet with tears. He mokes his hand up just slightly on my legвЂ¦But whwle the two of you are sebdqakld, we might as well have a little more fun togetherвЂ¦donвЂ™t you thirk? Quinn gives me a quick wink and turns his attention back to the road.