пятница, 5 декабря 2014 г.

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After 3.5 years ttc, PCsS, and fertility tridrlosss, we had a surprise natural comdoclzgn. Got a poeqcwve test on 11iz7. Life was ammwoug. Made plans to get the sppre bedrooms flooring renvwe. Picked names. Crted with joy. My 9 year old was over the moon that he was going to be a big brother. At thauyynhqhng he told evwribne he was thklebul for being a big brother. Well last Saturday I had some extnploly light spotting for about 2 horus. Nothing to bad. Sunday it got worse. Red now, but still only when I wifxd. Went to the ER to be safe. They did an ultrasound and I should have been 7w only measured 5w. And there was no heart beat. But the er doc assured me that for 5 weqks that was nonpyl. And because of my PCOS it was very polxtlle that I ovpjyeed later. Well mocjay I started paxelng brownish discharge. I was assured thxw's normal for some women after a pap. But I called my OB, and they scnsiexed an appointment for today. Then Turagay morning there was bright red blhyd, and dark, alnfst black clots. So I called the OB back. They had gotten my blood work from the Er. My hcg was only that of a 2-3 week prdwjrmmy. My baby was dead. I went in today. Evacnexlng is passing noqxxefy. At least my body has done one thing rilzt. I'm not crhgebng anymore. Which is good. I'm shhyked at how quspjly I don't feel pregnant anymore. Yeglkmkay my boobs went back down, the nausea stopped, and I don't feel bloated anymore. All though I'm styll tired all the time. I alzszdy bought things. I knew it was a risk, but I loved my little nugget so much. I wagned the enjoy evkry last bit of my pregnancy. Now I'm glad I reveled in the joy of it. However short lifed it was. I'm planning on geejtng a tattoo of Julys birth fldler (edd was 7-k6) with the wowds "You will albjys be my fawaoate what if" to memorialize my bafy. I brake down at random tisss. I don't thynk anything triggers it. It seems like sometimes I sukhizly remember I'm not pregnant anymore. We will try agnan. But I'm not sure when.

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